John Ó'Ríordáns Blog

People who visit this blog are aware of the problems I’ve had with smart. For months I tried to get broadband in my home but couldn’t as Smart had messed up a previous order and retained ownership of my line.

Well throughout the course of that I never actually received a broadband service from Smart and yet they continue to bill me. I was talking to their representative Ann-Marie and she said she would sort it out. Well surprise surprise recently I have received a letter from debt collectors acting on behalf of Smart saying they will initiate legal action to get money from me for a service they didn’t provide!

I told the collector on the phone not to call me again unless it is with a summons where I will get an opportunity to lay out my grievances.

The unthinkable has happened. I have broadband (well ADSL). I finally managed to get my line off of Smart. And it took going to a Solicitor to do it! I had to get one to draft up a letter saying I would take them to court over it. Suddenly order numbers were being given out, people were ringing me back and they got in touch with Eircom and got things sorted. Amazing!

It was actually sorted out quite quickly and easily. But it boggles the mind why this couldn’t have been done from the start and why I had to go to such extremes to get them to do something which ended up being quite painless.

Wasters!

Got a bill for line rental from Smart yesterday for nearly €400! And I haven’t been refunded the money taken out of my account earlier. So now it looks like when they said they had cancelled my acount they haven’t even managed to do that. And I’m still waiting for them to get back to me about freeing up the data port so I can get broadband. I ring the number I have everyday but get nothing back. And as ususal ComReg can’t seem to do anything.

Don’t even have the energy to care that much anymore.

Well I have an Eircom phone line now which is great. Seeing as I rarely use the phone. Anyway I ordered broadband off Eircom around a fortnight ago. But I got a mail from them saying I already have broadband. “Wait a minute”, I say to myself, “If I already have broadband why did I order it?”. So I rang Eircom and asked them. “Well” they said “you don’t have broadband with us but that port is being used by another company, so until they release it we cannot give you broadband”.

Arrrghgghhh!

Smart telecom strike again. Now it looks like when they finally released my line they didn’t release all the equipment I needed to get broadband. How can one company be so incompetent.

I’ll tell you why, because there is nothing I can do about it and they know it, unless I want to spend a large amount of time and money taking them to court. Man for a so called progressive economy we are stuck in the dark ages. What a joke. I am voting for some radical party at this years election because Fianna Fáil have lost the plot.

My God!

So here I am back playing the waiting game. Without broadband until Smart decide (in 6 or so months no doubt) that they might as well free up some ports around the place.

Sigh!

This is a complaint letter I got sent today. I changed the original company to Smart but left the rest as is. The fact it refers to BT is great because they were the idiots I was with before I moved and it took them 3 months to try and move a line across the hall in an apartment block, again before I gave up.

I’m sorry I didn’t write it. Although if I did they would have just ignored it.
Dear Cretins,

I have been an Smart customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up for your
3-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, and telephone. During this
three-month period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I had not
previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity of
monolithic proportions. Please allow me to provide specific details, so that
you can either pursue your professional perogative, and seek to rectify
these difficulties – or more likely (I suspect) so that you can have some
entertaining reading material as you while away the working day smoking B&H
and drinking vendor-coffee on the bog in your office:

My initial installation was cancelled without warning, resulting in my
spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat arse waiting for your
technician to arrive. When he did not arrive, I spent a further 57 minutes
listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more annoying
Scottish robot woman telling me to look at your helpful website….HOW?

I alleviated the boredom by playing with my testicles for a few minutes – an
activity at which you are no-doubt both familiar and highly adept.

The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later, although
the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools – such as a
drill-bit, and his cerebrum. Two weeks later, my cable modem had still not
arrived. After 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks my modem arrived… six weeks
after I had requested it, and begun to pay for it.

I estimate your internet server’s downtime is roughly 35%… hours between
about 6pm -midnight, Mon-Fri, and most of the weekend. I am still waiting
for my telephone connection. I have made 9 calls on my mobile to your
no-help line, and have been unhelpfully transferred to a variety of
disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highly skilled bollock
jugglers.

I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someone will
call me back); that no telephone line is available (and someone will call me
back); that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a
telephone line is available (and then been cut off); that I will be
transferred to someone (and then been redirected to an answer machine
informing me that your office is closed); that I will be transferred to
someone and then been redirected to the irritating Scottish robot
woman…and several other variations on this theme.

Doubtless you are no longer reading this letter, as you have at least a
thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of
those crucially important testicle-moments to attend to. Frankly I don’t
care, it’s far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustration’s in
print than to shout them at your unending hold music. Forgive me, therefore,
if I continue.

I thought BT were nuts, that they had attained the holy piss-pot of godawful
customer relations, that no-one, anywhere, ever, could be more
disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to
their customers. That’s why I chose Smart, and because, well, there isn’t
anyone else is there? How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered to my
considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless shower of
bastards you truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of distended rectum
incompetents of the highest order.

British Telecom – wankers though they are – shine like brilliant beacons of
success, in the filthy puss-filled mire of your seemingly limitless
inadequacy. Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and
foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that you
cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for the
services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to deliver
- any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and disbelief
quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps bemused rage.

I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my cats litter
tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for both you and
your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not become
desiccated during transit – they were satisfyingly moist at the time of
posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did not
experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture. Consider them the
very embodiment of my feelings towards Smart, and its worthless employees.

Have a nice day – may it be the last in you miserable short life, you
irritatingly incompetent and nfuriatingly unhelpful bunch of thingys.

John

Well it looks like they are trying to give ComReg the ability to actually do something about crap broadband providers like Smart. Looking at it it doesn’t seem to be aimed at helping out the individual consumer but more at forcing Eircom to open up. But we’ll wait and see. Hopefully if it’s passed people won’t have the same issues with non-responsive providers as I did.

To give ye an update on Smart, after weeks of rining that number I was given I finally got them to release my line.  Also they order and new line and broadband connection for me from Eircom but never told me. So I got hit with two Eircom connection fees which I am trying to sort out at the moment. But it’s not too bad because Eircom answer the phone!

Say what you like about being over-priced and having a dominant market position they are competent.

Man it’s really annoying me now. Got a call from a girl in Smart around 2 weeks ago. Yahoo! She read back exactly what I had told ComReg. I asked her to read back to me what I had said to them originally and guess what her system was down! Talked to her once after that again a few days later and asked her the same question. And again the system was down. What a coincidence.

Anyway I asked her if the order to cease the line was put through yet. She said no. I asked why and she said “Sorry we made a mistake”. Sigh! “Ok” I said “We’ll can we cancel it now so please”. She said no problem I’ll ring you Monday to confirm the cease order has been put through.

So anyway here I am two weeks later and guess what nothing. I still have no broadband.

Anyway I am getting very close to going down the legal route now just for the sake of it. But like I mentioned before it looks like I will lose money on that even if I win. Haven’t had a chance to check out the on-line route yet but might do it next week.

Why hold off are you saying, well my phone line is dead so I rang Eircom yesterday and ordered the line. Fingers crossed it’ll go through. If they get back to me with a Smart related problem I am going to go the legal route. But here’s hoping that doesn’t happen.

I have no hope of getting my money back or getting anything in reparations from Smart, right now all I want is my broadband back.

Telecoms regulation and consumer rights in this country suck! Looking forward to the politicians coming around so I can ask them their opinion on it but in fairness what do they care. It’s not really an election issue.

The Smart Saga continues. I rang ComReg again yesterday because in my stupidity I never canceled the direct debit order from Smart. Silly me thinking I wouldn’t be charged for a Service I didn’t order. Anyway they took around €60 from my account. So I rang ComReg to see what the story was and they said they only mediate and can’t deal with money or broadband (In fact broadband is unregulated in Ireland!!!).

So anyway I ring the Consumer Agency and they said they also have no power and if i want to try and get my money back (should Smart refuse to refund me) I would have to go to small claims court. But as Smart are in Dublin that means I have to go to Dublin for small claims court.

So lets do the math….

Owed €60

Small Claims €15
Train to Dublin €55

So even if I win I will be down €10 and will have wasted a day.

I asked them what about getting some money for the time and effort and lack of broadband etc. and they said i will have to go to court for that. Which means hiring a solicitor…… yeah right.

So I guess I am boned and just have to grin and bear it. I was thinking of starting a website to highlight this for people and make them aware of their rights (or lack of them). Anybody think this is a good idea.

As people who have been reading this blog around 6 months ago I ordered Smart Telecom Broadband when I moved into my new place. Anyway after around 3 months of being messed around I finally got sick of waiting and canceled my order. This was around 3 months ago and in fairness I fell I was very patient by allowing them 3 months to get it sorted out.

Anyway I canceled the order around 3 months ago and got Eircom Broadband instead. Got it it really quickly and everything was great.

Just before Christmas I found out I had to work Christmas Day. No big deal I suppose. I don’t really like Christmas anyway and now I can work from home. But wait a minute my broadbands not working. So I ring Eircom and they say they’ll look into it but it won’t be fixed for Christmas. Ah well.

Anyway a few days ago I got a few calls on my mobile from people saying they can’t ring my home phone. Weird. So I ring Eircom and find out they no longer control my phone line that I has been taken over by another company. What! I tell them there must be some mistake but they say there is nothing they can do. I will have to get in touch with the company who controls the line now. “Who’s that?” I ask, but they don’t know. Well I said who asked them for the line but they said they don’t have that info but if I ring a number it can tell me. Fair enough.

So I ring these numbers and they are all engaged. So I ring Eircom back and they say they have no way of finding out as usually lines are moved by the request of the owner and it doesn’t come up. Fair enough I suppose but you would think they would have it on file. N

So I ring Smart to see if they maybe decided to take over the line 6 months after I had ordered it and 3 months after I had cancelled the order. Anyway I am waiting for 50 minutes for my call to be answered when I decided enough is enough and I ring ComReg.

I won’t bore you with the details of my ComReg call but it went something like this.

Me: “Who owns my line?”
CR: “Don’t know”
Me: “Well can you find out?”
CR: “Well I can try but it will take 3 weeks and there is no guarantee I can find out”
Me: “So what do I do so”
CR: “Ring around all the providers and ask them do they have the line”

Ring around!! Useless. Now to be fair the guy on the phone was very polite and helpful but my God what use are ComReg if they can’t even tell me this.

Anyway…..

Me: “So when I find out what can I do?”
CR: “Make a complaint with them”
Me: “Well to be fair if it is who I think it is they are imbeciles and won’t do anything”
CR: “Well ring us back in 10 days with the complaint number from them and we’ll see what we can do”.

Two weeks! I have to wait two weeks for ComReg to do anything, and I have no great faith in them either to be honest but I will reserve judgment.

So anyway I cancel everything, ring my family to say I might not talk to them for a while and set my VCR to record all my favourite programs for the next few weeks as I settle down to ring Smart again and boy they didn’t disappoint.

I wait for 1 hour and 15 minutes for my call to be answered (Been waiting for 2 hours and 5 minutes total now!!). Only to be told they neither have my name, number or address on file. So it looks like they don’t have my line. “But who else would have it?” I asked. Dunno.

So now what Eircom can’t tell me, ComReg can’t tell me? What do I do.

Anyway messing with the phone I ring my mobile on a whim and realise my number has changed. So I ring Smart again. I ring them at 16:10. They answer 1 hour and 20 minutes later. And this is the entire conversation.

Me: “Uh, hell………..”
Smart: “We’re closed [click]”

Oh my God!!!! They just hung up on me. I was so mad I nearly smashed to phone to pieces.

Should I ring ComReg to complain I think? Nah, what’s the point they’d only tell me ring them back.

Total time on hold with Smart now 3 hours 25 minutes.

So I decided to ring them from work the second they open the next day. So at 09:00 on the dot I ring them. Only to here their phone system say I was the 6th person on the line. I wait for 50 minutes for an answer.

Total time on hold with Smart now 4hours 15 minutes!

I give them the new number an surprise, surprise my name, address everything suddenly appears on their system. So I ordered the line 6 months ago and they only install it now. AND I actually canceled it in October!!!! Muppets.

So I explain the situation and the first thing she asks is don’t I just stay with them now that I have been switched over. Man if I wasn’t so angry I would have laughed.

No!

So I ask them for my line back. They say they can’t just give it back to Eircom and I have to cancel it with them and reorder the line with Eircom.
“Why should I do that?”, I ask “It was your fault my line got switched over.”

“Well” she says “the customer has to order the line”. I ask why they can’t just tell Eircom they made a mistake and get it switched over. Doesn’t work that way she says.

So I think to myself what choice to I have I can either

a) Complain to ComReg who seem to be fairly powerless.
b) Press the point and get the incompetents in Smart to move it back which would probably take 4 years or
c) Just bite the bullet and cancel the line and reorder with Eircom.

So I chose C. So now they tell me it will take up to 2 weeks to cancel the line. I ask to make an official complaint and they give me a number they probably got off the back of a lucky bag or something for the good it will do.

So I hang up and ring Eircom. They say as soon as the line is ceased I can get my phone line back but broadband could take up to 2 weeks. Fair enough.

So now I have no broadband for another month. I have had to spend literally half a working day trying to get it sorted out and have had to do all the line ordering etc myself.

And man am I angry because I haven’t really got an apology or help from anyone. Basically its, like, Smart made a mistake and I have spend all this time to rectify it while they just sit there oblivious. It’s caused them no discomfort whereas I am running around ringing all these people doing all the work.

Man avoid Smart Telecom like the plague. Even if you are with them now I’d leave because they day something goes wrong you are on your own.

Anybody know is there anything I can do to get some satisfaction. Get them to pay for my broadband for a month to equal the month I’ll be without service or something. Can I bring them to small claims court to get something for the time and hassle it’s caused. The 4 months without broadband. I want something, anything, a free pen, something, just so I don’t feel like I’ve be boned.

Anybody……..?

I think I’ve been boned and there is nothing I can do.

p.s. Anybody want to link this from their blog or email it around please do. Let people know that Smart should be avoided. Hey, you don’t have to ask me. Just ask the thousands of people who had their connection severed without warning because Smart couldn’t pay their bills. Please a little give me this little victory.

Tech Note: If you do link this. THANKS! But a quick tech note link it using the words Smart Telecom so that if I get enough links it might creep up the Google rankings when people search for the word “Smart Telecom”.

Update: Now today 12th I got a bill from them for around €60 for line rental. So now they want me to pay for the privilege of having my phone line stolen.

Update: Still waiting for Smart to release me line. Just rang ComReg a couple of days ago and they said they will send them a strongly worded letter. Wow! I’d ring Smart for an update but I don’t have two hours to spare and anyway what’s the point. Frustrated isn’t the word.

Update: New Post

As people may (or may not know) I have been having on going problems with Smart Telecom. I rang them today to finally cancel my order for good. While I was waiting I was put on hold and guess what the on hold music was?

The Theme from Titanic!!

Nice to see someone in Smart still has a sense of humour.